When I started this blog, I started it with the intention of sharing my life with others.
In July, I attended The Life of a Single Mom ministries, and that weekend I took home a wealth of knowledge that I am incredibly grateful for. The whole experience was one that I will forever cherish, and the feeling I felt upon leaving was one that I can’t explain.
My daughter is 7, and for the majority of her life, I have raised her as a single mom. Up until the past two years, I raised her, living away from my family and my strongest support system. I feel like my choice to move away when she was young ultimately helped shape the type of mom that I am today. I have the mindset that ANYTHING is possible. Not because of who I am, but because of the God that I serve. I have been through many trying times as a single parent, but never once have I questioned my success because I know that God has brought me through all of the struggles to continue to mold and shape the person I am today.
Have there been times of doubt? Of course. I think that every parent has those doubts. We are constantly facing stereotypes of what we SHOULD be doing with our children, and how we should be raising them. If we spend our entire time parenting wondering if we are fitting the mold of how society wants us to raise our children, we will fail. To be quite honest, I don’t want to raise my daughter in the cookie cutter image that the world has laid out for us. Why? Because I want something greater for my daughter.
I want my daughter to grow up with the freedom to be herself. I want her to grow up knowing that nothing is impossible.
I feel like often times, when a parent finds themselves single again after a failed relationship, the main focus is to fill the void of what they are missing. My goal has never been to fill that other parental role in Camden’s life. While I feel like it is ideal for parents to not grow up in a broken household, and to have both parents there for them from birth, I know that is unfortunately not the reality these days. That being said, I don’t feel like raising her on my own is a hindrance by any means.
I am often asked “How do you do it?” I don’t feel like I am doing anything spectacular when it comes to raising Camden. I am simply playing the cards that I was dealt, and I do my best to try and make sure that we both reach our full potential. I feel that, if anything, we are given more freedom to chase our dreams. We talk a lot about our goals, and I like to teach my daughter that every goal must have an action plan attached. It is important that our children learn that the things they want in life will never be handed to them, and I try to show my daughter that we need to pave the path that we want to travel if we wish to be successful in any endeavor.
I live for new opportunities. Anyone who knows me, knows that I love spontaneity. My closest friends often laugh at my willingness to jump on a new opportunity. We only miss the chances we don’t take, and I try to live my life with no regrets. There is a certain amount of discernment that comes into play here, because I believe that not EVERY opportunity needs to be pursued. However, if an opportunity arises that aligns with the goals that we have set out, I do my best to see that we give it a chance.
I feel like often times, the label “single mom” is attached with a crutch. “I could never do that because I’m a single mom.” “I would love to do ___, but I know that I can’t because I’m a single mom.” I say to heck with that C word, everyone is given the same amount of hours in the day, and if there is something we wish to do, we are the only ones who can make that happen.
There are obstacles that every parent faces when making decisions for their children. I don’t feel that it’s fair to be pitied because you are a single mom. Yes, it is tough.. but why don’t we stop thinking of all the reasons we can’t do something and think of all the reasons we CAN do something?
Get up and chase your dreams. The only one stopping you is you.